Taking the salt out!

Have you ever tried to keep the salt out of your food? My grandmom did that once. She didn't take any salt for two whole years. I tried eating her food a couple of times and really couldn't manage more than two bites. But now I've done it. I've taken the salt out of my life. Forever. Maybe. No, definitely, forever.
When you force yourself to take out something so essential, you need a lot of willpower. And it's shaken everytime you look around. Try going out to the market. suddenly everything will start screaming out the name of the one thing you've removed. Not just a reminder, mind you. Sometimes, it just shouts "Pick me up"!
What can one do in such a situation? You can't pick it up, because the entire sordid dilemma will start again. One can imagine the emotional turmoil behind such a decision. You don't decide something like this, just for the heck of it!
So, what do I want now? Do I want approval and admiration for having had the courage to take this decision? Or, do I want people's sympathy because it's such a loss?
And am I allowed to grieve for this loss? Not in public I know. But in my solitude, can I shed the tears without guilt?
How in the world do you get over this? That missing ingredient is gone from your life, forever. even the crumbs are gone. No hope, no future. To whom do I complain? Who do I blame? I am the one who took this decision. I am the one who is blamed for moving on. God, I wanted complete ownership of my decision. But never this kind.
I have taken the salt out of my life. I know nothing will ever replace or compensate. Nothing can ever take its place. The piano will never play the same again. The keys are broken, and cannot be mended again. Take care is all I want to say! Bless you is all I can pray!